??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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