I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
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I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
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TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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