Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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