Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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