Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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