y did u give ur computer a hand job?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
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I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
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I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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