you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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