apparently the secret to your success is patron
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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