i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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