textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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