Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize