his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize