I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
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you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
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She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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