It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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