I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
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Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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