it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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