Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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