i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I need to sanitize my soul.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize