I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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