Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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