What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize