your thong is hanging out like whoa
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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