wat bout pragnant strippers??
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize