i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
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She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
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You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i believe in u and ur pee
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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