Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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