I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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