I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
soo... how was my night?
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