She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Text me some of your sweat
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize