If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize