I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize