just tell him i said nine months
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
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Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
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I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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