So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
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It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
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The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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