God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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