Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize