Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
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This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
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He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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