I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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