what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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