turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize