I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Randomize