I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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