my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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