You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
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Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
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Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I know her cup size but not her name....
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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