no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize