I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
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