I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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