Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize