No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
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