Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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