i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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