The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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