We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Randomize